We had another big death discussion a couple of weeks ago and it got me thinking about the things that Benjamin has asked or said about death over the last 3 years and how his understanding is growing and changing. I thought it may be helpful to others to see what sorts of things he…
I recently wrote a guest blog post for The Legacy of Leo blog, run by Jess, one of Leo's mummies. The post is a part of her Diversity In Loss series during this Baby and Infant Loss Awareness Month - with this week being of particular importance. I wrote about Luna, but specifically about the…
I was invited to write a guest post for Jennie Agg's Mum's Voice Series on her blog The Uterus Monologues. I'm proud of this post. It's been quite emotional for me to see it all written down, in black and white, but I am so pleased to have had the opportunity to share our experiences…
Pregnancy after loss. It's all over the place. People talking about it, wanting to know how to deal with it...by 'it' I mean the fear. The hashtag PAL is everywhere, there was even a whole day in dedication to it only last week. I get it. It's the hope mixed with fear that these pregnancies…
The pregnancy loss that tipped me over the edge was a medical termination. We lost Luna at 19 weeks, she had Turner’s Syndrome, we knew this from 12 weeks. We had been giving her time to see if the complications she was suffering from may stabilise to a point where she could be born live…
When it comes to miscarriage and baby loss, 'normal' takes on some very different forms and unexpected turns. I was taking a look at old photo’s the other day and I came across the ones taken nearly three years ago while we were in Canada for my brother’s wedding. There’s some lovely photo’s and I…
For a five year old, Benjamin is pretty clued up about death and grief. Just over two years ago, his baby sister, Luna, died. Since that moment - actually, even before we knew she was definitely going to die, he was a part of the story. Both of my parents have died, Dad when I…
What does this mean? What shape does it take? What are our ideas of it before we attain it? How does it change once we have? Are you only a mother to living children? These are some of the questions I ask of myself, quite a lot! Some I have found answers to, others are…
I don't know...because biology is a bastard and nature doesn't care about my feelings? That's what I have felt like saying after I have had to explain to people that I have had yet another miscarriage, or told them about how many I've had. There's an assumption that there must be a problem, something wrong…
That's what I saw typed on my notes as I was sat across from the Registrar. She was talking to me about my latest missed miscarriage, what my options were, what they could do for me, etc... T.O.P. It took me a moment to figure out what this meant, and then I realised: Termination of…