Pieces of my heart

“Fear and Love can never be experienced at the same time. It is always our choice as to which of these emotions we want. By choosing Love more consistently than Fear, we can change the nature and quality of our relationships.” - Gerald G. Jampolsky I’ve been giving away pieces of my heart last week,…

Searching for meaning

‘Meaning makes a great many things endurable – perhaps everything.’ ~ Carl Jung After Luna died, on one of my visits to her at the funeral home, I wrote her a letter. In this letter I said many things but one of those things was a promise to make sure her short life counts for…

The language of baby loss

I recently wrote a guest blog post for The Legacy of Leo blog, run by Jess, one of Leo's mummies. The post is a part of her Diversity In Loss series during this Baby and Infant Loss Awareness Month - with this week being of particular importance. I wrote about Luna, but specifically about the…

Courageously Broken

Ahem, soooo, I have gotten two or three comments recently telling me how 'strong' I am or must be. These have come via social media channels, but I have had it said to my face over the years as well, and it's got me thinking. I want to be very clear, I am enormously grateful…

What’s ‘normal’?

When it comes to miscarriage and baby loss, 'normal' takes on some very different forms and unexpected turns. I was taking a look at old photo’s the other day and I came across the ones taken nearly three years ago while we were in Canada for my brother’s wedding. There’s some lovely photo’s and I…

A conversation of death with a 5 year old

For a five year old, Benjamin is pretty clued up about death and grief. Just over two years ago, his baby sister, Luna, died. Since that moment - actually, even before we knew she was definitely going to die, he was a part of the story. Both of my parents have died, Dad when I…

Motherhood?

What does this mean? What shape does it take? What are our ideas of it before we attain it? How does it change once we have? Are you only a mother to living children? These are some of the questions I ask of myself, quite a lot! Some I have found answers to, others are…

Remembering Luna: A funeral for a baby

After last week's article, I really wanted to look at my memories of Luna more closely. I have already written about what happened to her in the article titled T.O.P but I wanted to write about her funeral. The anniversary for this is approaching and it's been on my mind a lot lately. All that we…

When dad died

A friend of mine sent me a link to Cariad Lloyd's podcast, Griefcast, the other week. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is either a part of this weird club (Cariad's words, not mine!) or is possibly supporting someone who is in the club. I've put a link at the end of this…

Reflections

Taking a look at the photo gallery I posted on New Year's Eve, I realised how many of the photo's have Luna as their subject. This is really heartening to see, she is a part of our family and we are thinking of her always. Which means we are taking her with us everywhere and…