I was browsing my mum’s blog again and found this entry, it feels very apt at the moment. I also had a dream last night about a necklace of hers, I put it on as soon as I got out of bed this morning. I suppose I’m feeling her presence more closely at the moment …
I don’t know…because biology is a bastard and nature doesn’t care about my feelings? That’s what I have felt like saying after I have had to explain to people that I have had yet another miscarriage, or told them about how many I’ve had. There’s an assumption that there must be a problem, something wrong …
Watching you jump and splash So happy! So joyous and full of life. Diving and twisting and leaping Like a dolphin. Racing with daddy, who will get there first? Benjamin! Daddy’s a good sport.
That’s what I saw typed on my notes as I was sat across from the Registrar. She was talking to me about my latest missed miscarriage, what my options were, what they could do for me, etc… T.O.P. It took me a moment to figure out what this meant, and then I realised: Termination of …
I wonder what you would be doing right now. If you had been healthy and been able to make it to full term, you would be about 18 months old now. Would you have been like your big brother, late to get up and walk, or would you have been keen to keep up with …
I started this blog, part inspired by my mum’s own blog. Back in 2016, I undertook to organise and edit my mum’s blog in order to put it into print form for my brother’s wedding. I was struck that I could hear her voice, intonation and laugh (and annoyance at times!) through her words. I …
What I didn’t really go into in my last post was how this miscarriage was different from my previous ones (they have all been very different), my waters actually broke with this one. Which I don’t think is uncommon, but it did have the effect of feeling more like the process of labour. And that’s …
One of the main reasons why I started this blog was because of our experience of losing a baby last year. It broke me as a person. I’ve had my fair share of loss, both my parents are now dead. My father died of cancer when I was 20 and my mother of cancer when …