It would have been my parents 43rd wedding anniversary yesterday (14th August). My mum wrote, on what would have been their 30th anniversary, in her own blog 13 years ago. Here's what she had to say. Bear in mind that she had just finished her own treatment for breast cancer only a few months previously:…
Death and Due Date Anniversaries, Grief Fog, Big Life Decisions…and naps
It's been awhile since my last confession - I mean, post. Freudian slip there! Well, not really. I suppose these posts are like confessions. They're certainly the truth, at least as I see/feel it at the time of writing. I haven't posted on here in a while for a few reasons. Work has gotten in…
Pregnancy after loss, after loss, after loss
Pregnancy after loss. It's all over the place. People talking about it, wanting to know how to deal with it...by 'it' I mean the fear. The hashtag PAL is everywhere, there was even a whole day in dedication to it only last week. I get it. It's the hope mixed with fear that these pregnancies…
Monster mum
Some people would call me a monster, I did kill my son after all. But what if I told you I loved my son and killing him was the best thing I ever did for both of us? I’m not even sure if that’s true, but I want it to be and maybe that’s good…
Courageously Broken
Ahem, soooo, I have gotten two or three comments recently telling me how 'strong' I am or must be. These have come via social media channels, but I have had it said to my face over the years as well, and it's got me thinking. I want to be very clear, I am enormously grateful…
Thank you!
So this is just a quick post to say a big THANK YOU to everyone that has liked my posts enough to actually follow me and an even bigger THANK YOU to all of you that have ever taken the time to leave a comment. Seriously, I know I don't have many followers on this…
Pregnancy loss and mental health
The pregnancy loss that tipped me over the edge was a medical termination. We lost Luna at 19 weeks, she had Turner’s Syndrome, we knew this from 12 weeks. We had been giving her time to see if the complications she was suffering from may stabilise to a point where she could be born live…
What’s ‘normal’?
When it comes to miscarriage and baby loss, 'normal' takes on some very different forms and unexpected turns. I was taking a look at old photo’s the other day and I came across the ones taken nearly three years ago while we were in Canada for my brother’s wedding. There’s some lovely photo’s and I…
Wisdom of Mum – Part 3
My mum's blog has been pulling me to it again in the last few weeks. I haven't sat down to look at it until this afternoon though. I'm learning to listen to these 'pulls'. I go through her book (I turned her blog into a book) and take my time. Sometimes I know within a…
A conversation of death with a 5 year old
For a five year old, Benjamin is pretty clued up about death and grief. Just over two years ago, his baby sister, Luna, died. Since that moment - actually, even before we knew she was definitely going to die, he was a part of the story. Both of my parents have died, Dad when I…