T.O.P

That's what I saw typed on my notes as I was sat across from the Registrar. She was talking to me about my latest missed miscarriage, what my options were, what they could do for me, etc... T.O.P. It took me a moment to figure out what this meant, and then I realised: Termination of…

Conversation with Benjamin

Ben: "Who is my Granny?" Me: "Granny Jaynie, my mummy and Granny-" Ben: "Daddy's mummy." Me: "That's right." Ben: "So we need to put you and me on a list with Granny Jaynie and give it to her. That would be nice for her." Me: "Yes, because we all belong together?" Ben: "Yes. Where is…

Reflections

Taking a look at the photo gallery I posted on New Year's Eve, I realised how many of the photo's have Luna as their subject. This is really heartening to see, she is a part of our family and we are thinking of her always. Which means we are taking her with us everywhere and…

Wisdom of mum

I started this blog, part inspired by my mum's own blog. Back in 2016, I undertook to organise and edit my mum's blog in order to put it into print form for my brother's wedding. I was struck that I could hear her voice, intonation and laugh (and annoyance at times!) through her words. I…

BIG Birthday…

I turned 40 last week. Something I wasn't looking forward to, which took me by surprise in a way. I've never really worried about birthdays, getting older. This year however, I have been feeling rather jaded about it! Charlie asked me if I wanted a surprise party (yes, I know, not much of a surprise…

Dad’s birthday

A couple of weekends ago, it was my dad's birthday, he would have been 69. We celebrated by going to Polesden Lacey, near Dorking, for a walk and some lunch. As you can see, it was a beautiful Autumn day. Truthfully, I haven't been very good at marking these dates in the past. I have…

What’s important

All this talk of loss has made me think of, and appreciate, what I do have. My wonderful husband, Charlie: one of the kindest and gentlest people I know. I wouldn't have made it through my darkest days without his steadfast love and support. One or two random events in the last few weeks have…