Taking a look at the photo gallery I posted on New Year’s Eve, I realised how many of the photo’s have Luna as their subject. This is really heartening to see, she is a part of our family and we are thinking of her always. Which means we are taking her with us everywhere and when we see something like the moon in the sky on a cold January day, it makes us think of her. We do carve out specific “Luna time”. We can find many excuses to plan a fun day out as a family in her memory and I find myself looking forward to the two year anniversary of when we lost Luna coming up on the 25th January. I know, it sounds a little perverse even to me! But I have come to really cherish the time we spend together as a family in Luna’s honour.
As Luna’s mother, I felt I had to fight for her place in this world, for her recognition as a part of our family. This was initially an outside fight. I needed people outside of us three to understand our loss, that Luna is our daughter, no matter how many weeks she was or how ill she was. This fight hasn’t always gone my way. However, looking back at those photo’s and thinking about Luna’s upcoming anniversary, I realise that something more important has happened: Luna’s place within our family is secure, to us. She is very much a part of our everyday lives, not just at certain times of the year. Our love for her hasn’t diminished, it has grown.
This is how we have eased the pain and suffering of our loss, by remembering and including Luna in our family and making sure she isn’t somehow left behind and forgotten. And by writing this blog, I’m finding another way of keeping her with me.