A couple of weekends ago, it was my dad’s birthday, he would have been 69. We celebrated by going to Polesden Lacey, near Dorking, for a walk and some lunch. As you can see, it was a beautiful Autumn day.

Truthfully, I haven’t been very good at marking these dates in the past. I have been thinking about why this is. And I think I was trying to avoid marking these anniversary’s because they can be painful. They are a reminder that another year has past, more time is now between my life now and then, when my dad (and mum) were alive. It’ll be 20 years next June since my dad died, I was 20 when he died, I’ll have lived the same amount of time with and without him.

But, marking his birthday was a good thing. Yes, I felt some sadness. Perhaps even bitterness, that he wasn’t around to celebrate with. There would be no birthday call to him, Benjamin wouldn’t be speaking to his grandpa Roger to wish him a happy birthday. However, it gave us an opportunity to talk about him and share my memories with both Charlie and Benjamin, neither of whom have met my dad.

I’ve realised, through losing Luna, how important it is to continue the bonds with those we’ve lost, to bring them along with us in our lives after they have gone.

Happy birthday dad.

   

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